My darling daughter Bee has just turned two. What an age!
She can be sweet, defiant, innocent, mischievous, cute, challenging, independent, stubborn, inquisitive, bossy, confident, self-centred, curious, considerate, kind and adorable all in the span of a few minutes.
Most of all, she wants to feel like she has some control over aspects of her life. She has definite ideas about what she wants, and what she doesn’t, and is testing boundaries. Couple this with a two year old’s immature emotional control and you have the propensity for delight to turn despair in seconds, microseconds even.
I know that, with respect and patience, in a few months time we’ll come out of this tricky period with our strong mother-daughter bond intact. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to choose my battles, make age appropriate compromises, and take a few deep breaths every now and again. Some things are of course non-negotiable but here are 8 battles that I’m letting Bee win for now.
- Bed hair. Some days she let’s me brush it, but some days she doesn’t. So be it.
- Shoes are optional. Except for situations where there may be glass. It’s better for her growing feet anyway. And she’s much easier to reason with when she actually feels that the pavement is hot, or the grass has bindies, or that gumnuts hurt the soles of little feet.
- Breaking the fashion rules. Yup, she can wear polka dot leggings with that floral top and this stripy beret. Wings too? Why not! The more clashing the outfit, the more sweet comments we get from passer-bys about how adorable she looks. 🙂
- Nappies for the vertically inclined. Getting Bee to lie down for a nappy change is sometimes nigh on impossible. Switching to BabyLove nappy pants means I can follow her around the house during her after-the-bath-nudie-run, and ask her to step into her nappy instead of submissively lying down. The stretchy sides make them easy to slip on. A few extra cents per nappy is well worth the price for a happy end-of-day routine.
- The blue cup. If I serve milk in a yellow cup and Bee actually wanted it in the blue one, then washing up an extra cup is less effort than trying to reason with her about why I don’t want to wash up the extra said cup. Yes, catering to her fickle demands all day long is emotionally exhausting, but on the bright side she are learning to identify colours.
- Eliminating the dinner-time battle. I want mealtimes to be pleasant social experiences. Providing lots of yummy healthy choices throughout the day takes the pressure off dinner time. As long as Bee tries (which for us means to have a small lick) of everything on her plate, I don’t mind how much she actually eats.
- Big emotions. It’s OK for toddlers to be angry sometimes. Or sad sometimes. Or jealous sometimes. Distracting or trying to cheer Bee up just makes matters worse, as she feels misunderstood. So instead we’re working on identifying, naming, talking about and having a suitable outlet or strategy for these emotions. It’s great for her emotional intelligence, and it makes for less tantrums. Speaking of which…
- Chuck a tantrum. They do sometimes happen, and once we’ve gotten to the point of no return, trying to stop one actually makes it worse. So yes I give my toddler permission to have a tantie in the middle of the shopping centre aisle if she needs to, with affirming words such as “Let me help you down so you don’t hit your head. I can see you’re feeling very upset. Take your time, I’m not rushing you. Let me know if you need a cuddle because sometimes a cuddle helps.”
After their bath, the girls madly dashed into Bee’s room and closed the door. I heard a few giggles, so I thought I would let them be. Then, about a minute later, Bee emerged with her BabyLove nappy pants already on! JJ had managed to put them on for her. So if a four year old can put them on a squirmy two year old, then you know they must be easy to pull up. 🙂
Actually Bee has become quite fond of her BabyLove nappy pants of late. She likes the little Baby Bud cartoon character that is on the front of them. (There’s a little video of his birth story here, in case you want to check it out…)
Would you like to try some too? BabyLove have offered to give away two months’ supply of BabyLove Nappy Pants and BabyLove Wipes (worth over $250!) to one lucky Danya Banya reader. To enter, all you need to do is answer the following question in the comments below. Good luck!
“Tell us about the funny moments you face with an overly zealous toddler struggling to get away during nappy change times?”
(Competition open to Australian residents only. Please include a valid email address. Ends Monday 3rd November 2014, at 5pm (AEDST). The winner will be chosen based on the creativity of their answer. For full terms and conditions, click here.)
***Congratulations to Amy who won this competition! This giveaway is now closed.***
[EDIT: A year and a bit on, I’m rereading this post and marvelling that most of these challenges have sorted themselves out. It’s reaffirmed, for me, that time old parenting phrase, “This too, shall pass.” We have new challenges now. I think I’ll once again choose which ones are worth tackling head on, and which ones can go through to the keeper, for now at least.]
For more gentle parenting, you might also like these posts below (click on the photo to go to the full post). Or pop over to my parenting page to see more.
And I pin some of the ideas that I love from around the web on my Parenting Pinterest board:
This is a sponsored post for BabyLove, however the opinions presented are my (or my kids’) own. BabyLove Nappy Pants are available in major retailers, pharmacies and specialty baby stores in Toddler (9-14kg), Walker (12-18kg) and Junior (15-25kg) sizes. RRP: $16.99 for Bulk pack and $29.99 for Jumbo packs.
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I’m with you on this one! They are too little to know any different, so letting them win is great for their self- esteem I believe. Thank you for sharing!
My youngest son LOVES to be tickled and he thought nappy changing was the most ticklish thing ever – so he would always laugh and try to run away just to make the nappy change last longer! It was pretty cute most of the time, but not so when it was a #2 of course 😉
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Ah it's what they always say 'pick your battles' and you, wise Mama, are doing just that!
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Kate took the words right out of my mouth! 😉 One toddler battle I gave up on was wearing a jacket or wearing mittens. As long as it wasn't bitter cold, it was her choice.
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Every time I try and change my granddaughters nappy she is off , but when pop changes the nappy she is as good as gold trying to get her dressed is another story she certainly has a mind of her own this one what a wriggle worm she is
My 2 yr old runs and hides(always in the same place) as soon as her nappy comes off so now it’s a game for us I pretend I can’t find her then I’ll hear some giggles and she comes out all happy and will let me put her nappy on. Forcing them to put it on doesn’t work.
You are a wise mother!
Since Arlo was a baby he has hated nappy change times! Now that he is 18 months and can run away (fast!) it's a nightmare. However yesterday after chasing him around the house, he walked over and outstretched his arms to let me pick him up and change his nappy. It melted my heart!
I've had the nudey run, the turn and bite the nearest boob to get away from the nappy, I've had the 'but I want the WIGGLESSSS ONE!!" (gah babylove they were known in our house for years and years as wiggles pants and now its all different designs!!) we've had the pee while running away from the nappy he declared he definately did not need and the 'i'm a big boy now' tantrum about only wanting nappy pants not the driwaves. It can be interesting trying to get a determined toddler into a nappy especially since they are now old enough that a sticker on the back of the hand doesn't work for change time anymore!!
My little one always tries to escape nappy change time – he runs , hides, sometimes tries to do a pretend kick as well but for the last one month i am changing his nappy on the floor (on the carpet ) while he watches the Babylove's video where mum changes the nappy of a wriggly toddler and it works as a treat for me – during that advertisement i successfully change his nappy without much resistance. ( That is the only screen time he gets throughout the day – otherwise i support zero or minimum screen time for little ones ).
All three of my daughters put up a struggle during nappy time. Squirming, wriggling, twisting and turning, and that is once I managed to grab them out of their hiding spots (usually under the bed, dining table or other spots Mummy couldn't usually fit!)
I would resort to putting a stamp or a sticker on their hand to distract them.
Now with my little niece, I do the same thing as she is a squirmy, wriggly girl too! It causes a distraction for her. I have also blown bubbles for her and that works well.
My toddler boy always sense it that it is nappy changing time – he then runs to the place where we keep his nappies and cover it with the towel/sheet and tells me that nappies are finished. Then he runs to our library area , picks up a picture book and starts looking at the pictures & pretends that he can not see/hear me.
I took your advice Danya and bought some BabyLove nappy pants to try, when changing my little girl at swimming classes. It so much easier – I wished I had used them before. I'm now going to use them all the time. A happy toddler makes for a happy mother….a win, win.
What a sweet post! My 15-month-old has been walking for a full months, but I'm still waiting for the big emotions to hit. Lists like this are definitely helping me prepare!
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My daughter likes to run into her trampoline (yes, I have a small trampoline in my dining room) and back all the way to the back of the net so I can't reach her to put her diaper on. She just laughs, so now I just wait for her to come to me and she runs and jumps "freely".
Ah, she’s taken the nudie run to a whole new level!
I was the same way with my boys when they were this age. There are much bigger battles to be fought and won.
Hear, hear! 🙂
You’re so right, choose your battles wisely no matter what their age. I remember when Miss 19 was little she hated wearing shoes too. I managed to get her to wear them sometimes by buying her a sparkly silver pair!
There’s more than one way to skin a cat, err, I mean, get a toddler to wear shoes! Haha!